lactose intolerant

The 12 (Unhealthy) Days of Christmas

... Forty maids-a-milking means 40 potentially mad cows spreading disease!  And are you going to pasteurize that milk or risk a listeriosis outbreak?  What if your True Love is lactose-intolerant?  Or at the very least gets gassy when consuming dairy?  That eighth night of Christmas (and beyond) might be pretty unpleasant for both of you! ...