Summer is here, so it’s time for some tips from your phavorite phunny physician on three big summer hazards.
First, protect yourself from skin cancer by using a reputable sunscreen with a DEET level of at least 739 to protect against the sun’s harmful HD rays.
Second, protect yourself from the Zika virus by … Wait. That’s one I never learned about it in medical school. You better check the internet. Here’s an interesting factoid I do remember from med school, though: The Rocky Mountains are not the most common location for Rocky Mountain spotted fever! That’s true! Who’s the idiot responsible for naming this disease?
Third, prevent food borne illness at barbecues by grilling at a temperature of 873 Kelvin until your meat turns into a solid carcinogenic rock. Then deposit it into your neighbor’s rhododendron bush. This lovely perennial will return next year with stunning vibrant colors! And vertebrae!
Have a safe and fun summer. Laugh a lot. And don’t go vacationing in Tennessee; that’s where you could get a nasty case of Rocky Mountain spotted fever!
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The Healthy Humorist®—Brad Nieder, MD—is a doctor, funny speaker and clean comedian who believes laughter is the best medicine ... unless you have giggle bladder incontinence. Dr. Brad dispenses healthcare humor with wellness advice and an uplifting message to audiences across the country. (www.healthyhumorist.com, (303) 364-9061, www.facebook.com/healthyhumorist, @HealthyHumorist)